Many people have a hard time forgiving others because they think is something that it’s not. Forgiveness is not:

• Forgetting what happened
• Minimizing or denying what happened
• Saying you have to reconcile.

When you forgive you are actually validating the offense and saying you are ready to move on. But forgiving does not mean you have to reconcile or be in relationship with the offender. It MAY lead to reconciliation but it doesn’t have to.

Forgiveness is the first step to repairing damaged relationships. Sometimes it’s as simple as acknowledging the offense, the “sting” or impact of the offense along with a sincere admition of guilt that leads to a new level of relationship.

Here is a simple “formula” that will help you make an amend that could restore a relationship.

Step 1. State your intent: Let your friend/family member etc. know that you would like some time to make an amend. Example: I would like some time to share with you my amends for_______ so that we can be closer/remove this obstacle, etc.”

Step 2. Specific ways your actions/words caused damage. It’s important to understand how your words/acts have hurt your friend/family member and that you communicate that to them. “When I ______ I know that I hurt you, embarrassed you, caused you to feel angry, etc”.

Step 3. Responsibility statement. Take full responsibility for you actions. Example: “I take 100% responsibility for my actions and the _____ that this has caused you”.

Step 4. Intent to change. A simple statement that indicates your intent to change and to not repeat these acts/words again. Example: It is my intention to not repeat this action again and to not cause you____”.

Step 5. Accountability. Possibly the most important statement in this process. Ask your friend/family member to help you with accountability by asking them to address you specifically if the acts’ words happen again. Example: I am asking that you help me to be ccountable to my commitment by confronting me, setting boundarieds, etc. if I should repeat this behavior again.”

If you take these 5 steps (not necessarily easy) your relationships will move to a deeper more meaningful one. This also allows you to have a more open and fulfilling relationship with Christ; which leads to his Holy Spirit flowing freely through you. May you be blessed!

I forgive you

I think we all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it. Forgiveness is not a lot of things BUT it is the key to finding freedom from hurt, anger, fear, sadness and many more emotions.

This last week at CR we talked about the forgiveness and how it truly can change your life and provide you with the abundance Jesus Christ promises you. Here are a couple definitions of forgiveness that may help you.

To forgive is to release someone from the obligation of who you want them to be and accept who they are.

Forgiveness is an announcement that says, “I choose to live with the consequences of what you did to me and how that has impacted me”.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you bring to mind people and situations where  forgiveness is needed.  Maybe there is situation that still feels a little “raw” or unfinished. Then ask yourself if you are ready to extend foregiveness as described in above definitions. If so, it’s a simple choice.

Forgiveness is something done between you and God. He is eager to help you! Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us that “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”  Talk with God about the hurt, anger etc. as he understands and can help you let go. Give it to him and ask him to help you live out this forgiveness.

Sometimes we need to approach another person to make things right and we will talk about that next time. In the mean time, enjoy the new-found freedom found in forgiveness.

This past week at Rapid City’s CR group we talked about how we desire the VICTORY of God removing our defects of character. “Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind” (Romans 12: 2, GNB). We all have them; character defects. That’s not an excuse to let them run your life but more of an acknowledgment that you don’t have to do this alone.

When we ask God to help, all things are possible. Those shortcomings (anger, fear, resentment, impatience to name a few) that seem to rule your life- give them to God.

In CR,  Scripture, the principles and the steps guide us and teach us to live as God intended us to do. They provide us hope and assurance that God is in control of our lives.

Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.  “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.”  (Matthew 5:6)

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.  “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Character defects are your feeble attempt at self reliance. They appear to be your friends but inevitably they become your enemy.

God is waiting to change your weaknesses into strengths. Ask Him to help you, to work through you and live through you.  You will find freedom!

 “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” (Matthew 5:6)

This is a great opportunity to to bring a friend or family member who wonders what you do on Thursday nights. Our atmosphere is very casual and welcoming so people will feel comfortable and accepted here.

If you have any questions please call Laura at 342-0478. See you Thursday!

Recovery was God’s idea. I am so thankful He found it so important to give back to us what we have lost! I looked up the definition of recovery and here is what I found.

return to health-the return to normal health of somebody who has been ill or injured

return to a normal state- the return of something to a normal or improved state after a setback or loss

gaining back of something lost-the regaining of something lost or taken away

I bet you have experienced all of these kinds of losses. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. God noticed that you needed to recover back to your original condition at creation. He gave you a way back to your created  image; his son Jesus Christ.

In Celebrate Recovery we learn that God cares about YOU so much that he is willing to provide you a guide ( his Word) to live an fulfilling life. Jesus Christ, our Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit offer us so much hope and encouragement.

So if you find yourself in pain, uncertainty and want to recover what is lost plug into God’s power.

In John Bakers book, Life’s Healing Choices he describes how to plug into God’s power

1. Believe that God exists
2. Believe that YOU matter to him
3. Believe that He has the power to help

God’s help is a choice away. Ask for His help and attend CR. You don’t have to do this alone and you can get to a place where you can celebrate what is found in Him! Make your choice today. Celebrate what is found and Recover what was lost; just like this T-Shirt.

“Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will”

Psalm 37:5

Easter is a celebration of how Christ crushed the overwhelming heaviness of betrayal, hurt and isolation.

If you would like to experience the release of your sadness and hurt; give it to Jesus. He can take it! He can carry it for you; and gladly. He wants you to trust again and live freely.

In Principle 2 of Celebrate Recovery (CR) we are reminded of how we matter to God and he can help us get better.

Principle 2         Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him

and that He has the power to help me recover.

 ”Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” Matthew 5:4

Celebrate Easter and be reminded of what God has done and what He is doing in your life. Look for the risen Son today!

Welcome to CR at Rimrock’s blog. We trust you will find encouragement, hope and guidance as you read our articles and comments.

If you’re not sure who we are what we are up to please visit our About page and visit the links.

Fully Alive in Him,

Laura